But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
