Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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