So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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