so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
