got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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