So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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