Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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