Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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