Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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