i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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