The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
