I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
