i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
