Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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