Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
