And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
