Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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