Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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