I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize