I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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