he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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