I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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