Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob