Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.