I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.