Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
