If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?