I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me