She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.