office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
