Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
