Are we in a gay sports bar?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
