ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need to calm my uterus...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
