Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
