If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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