Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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