you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My vagina just clenched in fear
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
