doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
