Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
