; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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