she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
