oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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