I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
