If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
