Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize