okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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