i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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