well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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