Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
