Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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