Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
