Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
