My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your penis caused this!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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