im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
