I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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