Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
