This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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