I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
