i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
