You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
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I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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