it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
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Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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