Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize