It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
