my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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