i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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