Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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