Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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