omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
